From: James
Date:Wednesday, January 13, 1999 2:23 AM
To:Moe
Subject:Home
hi maureen!

ok, i so i lied. i'm back "home" in ithaca in the middle of my second of 
three weeks before classes start but i'm not bored out of my mind. i'll 
still write more, though cause i said i would. i had a great time seeing 
everyone over break. it was like i got to re-live a memory for two 
perfect weeks. you know me and how i remember things...

so i before i become that person that three people voted for as the one 
that will disappear and noone will ever hear from again (purple, purple! 
unless everyone else was color blind too!), i want to thank you for all 
the great memories. when i was doing the dishes with you on christmas 
eve, it was like that night before memorial day when you had a barbeque 
and everyone came over and my friend virginia was here and i helped you 
with the dishes after we were done because i just wanted to be near you, 
then we all crowded into your den to watch a movie and it was the first 
time we held hands. i still remember the first time i really ever said 
anything to you - it was the night before i left for the bahamas and 
about 15 people went to go see rumble in the bronx, and i bought your 
ticket cause it was a few days after your birthday and i was trying to be 
the gentleman. ha. and then five of us went to china cottage afterwards, 
and my stepdad's car broke down so adam and i were a little late. and 
there was one day at lunch when hannah and i were fighting over shotgun 
in your car on the way to arby's and so i sat in her lap in the front 
seat the whole way. one night we went to applebee's and you ordered for 
me and we joked about our plans to spend the night at a motel 6 sometime 
(and motels 1, 2, 3, 4...). one night we went to la piazza and i felt a 
little sick and you said i always get sick when i'm with you. and i said 
that maybe i'm allergic. :) but i never told you the real reason why i 
would get sick and i wanted to but the last time i saw you in ben and 
jerry's before i left for cornell and everyone was about to leave and you 
said no wait, don't leave me alone, in my mind you said don't leave me 
here with james. so i thought it would be a bad idea to tell you that 
everytime i got sick was because i was thinking about that day when i had 
to leave you and everyone behind. i know you never felt the same about 
me. but that doesn't change my memory of all the great times i spent with 
you and the gang and i certainly wouldn't trade any of it for anything 
because all it takes is an e-mail from you saying good morning sunshine to 
put a big stupid grin on my face and make the rest of my day happy. i can 
say i'm friends with [moe] and none of you at cornell 
can say that. hah!

i was talking to my roommate from freshman year and his girlfriend last 
night about my ex-girlfriend deirdre - we broke up because she is going to 
denmark this semester and we were only together for half the time that 
she will be gone. i was telling them about how i miss her and that i 
didn't think i was going to. both of their reactions were: "wow, cremer 
has feelings?!?!" i've been a lot different since i got to school. i 
haven't let myself feel anything for anyone since i got here (two and a 
half years is a long time to do that). but this week i've realized that 
the only reason i have all these great memories with you guys is that i 
care about you. and i'm never really going to be happy here until i start 
caring about the people in my life now. it helped me to hurt a little 
when deirdre left. and it helped me to see you again and to feel like 
everything was the way it used to be, and not think anymore about how i 
should act around you. so i want to make sure you know how much you mean 
to me, even if all you hear from me now is a little hello every now and 
then. and any time you want to go driving with me or any of us, just close 
your eyes, pop open the moon roof, slide dave into the cd player, and 
i'll be right there in my sambas, ready to go anywhere. i love you, 
maureen, and i always will.

james


p.s. oh, by the way: good morning sunshine! :)